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| Here world, I give you back the knife I found lodged in my back the blood stained blade is all yours, it severed the nerves, have it. Here's the rope you tried to bind me with, I'm giving back the tattered strands. When I still wouldn't play by your rules you dashed my hope against the rocks, they're yours to keep. Put them in an urn because I've buried the ashes. I may be hollowed out but nobody will ever break me.
...Ink the pages with my blood betrayed this mortality a glimpse of finality ink the pages with my blood a moment of chance buried in black... | | |
| There has been a few things of note that has occurred recently. In a none cohesive fashion here they are. Rudy's dad died, bought a suit for the funeral (I'm not ashamed to say I looked damn good), amp still hasn't came in, I bought another guitar a motherfucking GIBSON SG SUPREME kiss my ass bitches, bought tickets to a Pearl Jam concert on May 20th, walked through tear gas with a gas mask on which that was fucking cool.
Things I plan to do during the summer.
- Skydive-at least if something fucks up on the way down it'll be a great view.
- get at least one tattoo
- play ultimate whenever I can
- camping
- concerts
- maybe form a band
- turning 21, yeah so that'll happen regardless but it should be interesting.
On a sidenote I hate this world and the majority of the people in it. I'm pretty much sick of the people I have to deal constantly with. People that don't want to move, that act helpless, who are needy. I'm a babysitter that's what I am. Except babysitters get tipped and most of the kids sleep through the night. I'm not talking about my co-workers. I answered a call light to pull a blanket down to the foot of the bed, let me put this into persepctive this person was fully able to just didn't want to. I was beside myself on that one.
Because of people I'm shut like a lock. I've made sure to throw that key down the deepest well I could ever come across. It's something that will go unfound for ages and I'm ok with that. People aren't worth it and "love" doesn't exist just like god, that much I'm positive on. I need more people to hang out with. Oh well. | | |
| I'd rather be any other place than here, and would gladly run any distance to get away from myself. | | |
| Went to the Medina gunshow. Walked away with something very cool (1911) Shoots like a dream, have learned how to field strip it and put it back together. I was shooting about 1.5 inch groups with it, straight out of the box. I've also been improving at playing. In a relatively short time span I was able to add a few different songs that I can play note for note with the bands themselves. I'm also going to be getting a Gibson SG Supreme in Midnightburst. A guitar I've dreamed of getting for a number of years now. Decided to go ahead with the Peavy amp though because I have played and I know what it sounds like. Finally being able to get it, that's just going to be great for both actually but more so the SG Though I am trying to decide when to get my first tattoo. Sooner rather than later.
Though it's starting to happen again where I don't really fit in anywhere. Not at work, being so young, male, and not your typical medical professional. Surely not religious affiliation, that goes without saying. I don't feel like I really fit in with my peers either for some of the same reasons. The whole thought of just being a mindless sheep/drone never appealed to me so it's not how I've conducted my life. I may have personal hell issues but at least I've done things my way.
At one point I was told to just get out and talk to people. Sure that'd be great advice, but chances of that happening are pretty much nil. Way too cynical amongst other things. Simply put I don't trust people. They're not really worth the time or effort. Maybe that was a touch too cynical to a degree possibly only partly so. This week is going to suck. I'm not looking forward to it. Three days of hell on earth. Fuck. At least not for long though.
As my demons call, the devil in me answers. | | |
| I think things are looking up. Now if only there was a cure for this whole working thing But after earlier in the week it has to have gotten better up there, if not I'm going to be fairly pissed I believe. Grappling, well it's grappling I'm by no means good but I'm learning. So for awhile I'm just gonna be the human pretzel. I can live with that. I'm sure there's more I could add about various things but that would be boring and just no so I'll leave with some Corrosion of Conformity.
Lost in a dream high and wide
Whatever price to keep it by our side
The steps to the top are very steep
King of the hill when all are fast asleep
but I'm Stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
Broken hearts toast another round
And drink to the lost there's not a soul to be found
lonely boy says come what may
I hate to see it always end this way...
but I'm Stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
Simple words remind me
Cluttered room haunts me...come back yesterday
The soul is tired and I wanna go home
And close the curtain on everything you've known
But the curtain is high wide and long
And kills the dream, so we sing this simple song
Stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
What a pity
one of the best songs ever. Although I've probably had a few people reach their fill with it...eh you'll have that | | |
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